he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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