let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
