Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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