Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
