I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
