I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
