Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
