You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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