can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
