so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
