Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
