Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
