Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
