he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
