He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
