She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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