I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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