hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
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