What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
