Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
