you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
