Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
