i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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