Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
