i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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