NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
birth control should be required to get into college
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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