we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
