If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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