Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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