you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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