I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
