winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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