Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
