Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
