so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
