Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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