I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
