I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
