I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
