I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
