If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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