Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
