you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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