$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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