her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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