You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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