Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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