I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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