why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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