dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
