the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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