I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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