im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
