Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
