she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
