I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize